Open heart

I’ve watched with some wonder how a close friend of mine and her husband have opened their hearts in the last week. Like a number of couples in their mid-thirties, they’ve wanted to have children for the last few years. Unlike most couples I’ve known though, they haven’t been able to have biological children. No one really knows why — which is part of what makes the infertility process so hard and terrible.

A little less than a year ago, they started looking into adoption. They decided on an agency that specialised in open adoption so that they would know that the birth mother’s choices would be respected and so their child would always be able to findout about himself, including knowing about his biological parents. P (my boyfriend) helped them build a website to tell their story to perspective mothers, and well, that was it.

I wanted to ask how things were going, but one of the things you learn when friends are trying to have a child is that sometimes they need to not talk about it as much as other times they need to talk about it.

So does this story have a happy ending? I think so. They got contacted about 10 days ago by a birthmother with a 10 month old boy who she’s realized she can’t keep. Last week, the birthmother gave the child to my friends. In six months, assuming all goes well, the adoption will be final.

The day or two before he came, my friends were in a frenzy of activity, getting his nursery ready, and, most important, opening their hearts — even knowing it could all fall through and they could be devestated. Their ability to do this for a child they didn’t even know increased my love for them.

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