I did say in my last entry there would be news here soon. And news there is.
Almost eight years after we exchanged our first e-mail, six and a half since he first visited me, five since I got my first passport to visit him and three years after our first serious effort to live together (one which was foiled by the then INS), Paul and I are getting married tomorrow. Really, even though we decided to do this only a week ago. I keep telling myself this is going to happen because I can’t really believe it. We have rings and everything.
If by “everything” you leave out my dress which UPS seems to be holding hostage for reasons not at all clear to me — I’ve been told everything from ‘it’s about to be delivered’ to “it’s trapped in Kentucky with a weather delay.” Sadly, I suspect the last part is true. (Here’s a picture of the said dress which I’m hoping against hope will arrive today so I can wear it tomorrow).
We’re not having a big wedding. In fact it’ll just be the two of us, plus the woman who’s doing the ceremony and a friend who’s our witness. This is quite a change from my first marriage, a large, very Catholic wedding with the church packed full of everyone I’d ever met in my entire life. Or at least it seemed so to me. My dress cost more last time than this whole wedding will. (Or at least should.) Not just because we’re cheap and kind of short right now, though heaven knows that’s true. But this style is way more us — we’re introverted and neither of us likes being the center of attention. And I like the idea of something simple and personal. I’m even going to carry daisies from a local market and try and get Paul to weave me a chain for my hair.
A friend, on hearing, commented that we’re already married. Sometimes that feels very true. But other times I look at this man I love with all my heart and the knowledge that we’re about to vow our love and devotion to each other makes me tremble and cry with fear and joy.
Tonight it’s raining. Think of us tomorrow and know that whatever the weather, the sun is shining.