Sunday Brunch at Bonnie’s

For this week’s Sunday Brunch question, Bonnie asked:

Other than spanking implements, are there any toys you employ during a spanking session? If so, please describe your favorites and how they enhance your experience. If not, are there any such toys that you would like to own?

I wrote an answer in the comments section of her blog but I had to kind of rush it because a vanilla friend was headed over to take me to see The Devil Wears Prada (we ended up chatting for so long that we missed the film so went make-up shopping instead).

Anyway, this is an expanded version of my answers there.  🙂

My first thought was… nothing, we just do spanking stuff.  I guess that just goes to show how much these things have become just part of wiiwd.

Things we use (at least sometimes)

  • Lots of dressing up stuff, especially school uniforms, stiff collared shirts and school knickers.
  • a corner of the room (assuming a corner can count as a thing)
  • a high stool or a regular chair (for bending or being tied over.
  • pillows
  • rectal thermometer (o-the-shame)
  • plug (o the shame)
  • enema stuff (O THE SHAME)

Used rarely:

  • wrist cuffs
  • blindfold
  • vibrating egg
  • school book / notebooks and the like

Things we don’t have but I’d like us to get:

  • spreader bar
  • an adult sized school desk
  • school room / "play’ room (in my wildest dreams)

Most of the stuff, as you can probably guess, is used when we’re doing scenes with a school feel.  Others are for the very embarrassing anal play feeling.

Lots of people assume, because of the school uniforms plus the stories Paul and I have written that we do a lot of role play.  This isn’t the case.  Although I’ve been doing scenes as a adult for almost 9 years, I can count the number of real role play scenes I’ve done on my fingers and toes.  And the ones I’ve done with Paul on just my fingers. 

Role play is something I’d like to do more of, but it comes a lot easier for me than it does for him and it takes a lot of his energy.  While I enjoy being someone else (or rather, me as another self), Paul enjoys scenes most that are close to who he really is.  And he’s not my teacher, headmaster or daddy. 

Plus, one of the first (and only) times we tried a guardian / child scene, we were both very new to this.  My resistance got out of control and became very unpleasant for both of us, yet I didn’t feel able to just step out of the scene.  I guess part of me was too afraid of it failing and us never doing anything like it again.  We hadn’t even considered that he, as the top, might need a safeword and so he felt trapped in a scene that had spiraled away from both of us.  It was just bad and unhappy all the way around… a terrible experience.  The result?  We never have played that dynamic again.  And when we do play, I’m very self-conscious for fear of it not being good for him.  I’m not sure we’ll ever do it enough for this to really go away either.

Instead, the roleplays that I need seem to happen in my head outside of our actual scenes with the dynamic and scenes with Paul providing both fodder and release.  Maybe it’s not ideal.  But it’s pretty close.  And very good in its own right.   

4 thoughts on “Sunday Brunch at Bonnie’s

  1. Bonnie

    Mija,
    Thank you for visiting and contributing to our brunch.
    I’ve enjoyed your work since the A.S.S./S.S.S. days. Back then, I was reassured to learn about happy, normal people who happen to enjoy this kink. As an author, I was drawn to the outstanding writing that seems to flow naturally from the spanko community.
    Around that time, I began recording the details of my own spanking experiences. I was too timid to post them on the newsgroups, but many of those stories have since found life on my blog.
    I am grateful, now as then, for your example and your inspiration. Thank you, Mija!
    Bonnie

    Reply
  2. Randi

    Interesting about the early roleplay. As it happens, Sam and I just did a scene we’d once started at the very beginning of our relationship and both essentially chickened out of. I know we’ve both thought about it and wanted to do it for a few years now. We finally did it a few days ago, and I have to say, it was amazingly good. It would never have been that good at the beginning, but we know each other so well now that it really worked. It might be worth trying the guardian scene again, if it still interests you both.

    Reply
  3. Mija

    *Bonnie*
    Thanks for the welcome. It’s funny you mention ASS/SSS because I was just thinking what a great contributor you’d be and then someone mentioned that “My Bottom Smarts” is part of the Asssville webring (as this site will be when I finally get my act together).
    And in that vein, it probably would have been nice/polite and all that to ask first, but I ended up posting a version of this entry, along with your brunch question (also linked to your blog) to SSS where the topic is now currently being discussed. Hope you don’t mind.
    *Randi*
    That’s a really interesting point. It’s something Paul and I will have to talk about some. I think the hard thing for me is knowing that he’s not really into role play — that it’s all about me. That said, you’re right in that we’re both so much more confident players in general now that it would definitely be different.
    It’s definitely always a hot button for me. And unlike the school stuff, not so good to play scenes like that with someone that doesn’t know me really well.

    Reply

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