It’s been almost ten years since I delurked on alt.sex.spanking. This past month, sparkle’s husband Chris wrote a bit about delurking and the effect it’s had on his life, mostly in terms of people he’s met on-line and off. This blog, of course, is an example of wonderful connections we’ve made. Generally I forget that I’ve been around for a while (and likewise I forget that I’m getting old) and therefore I’ve been fortunate enough to have met a lot of very kewl people in this scene.
But I had another “wow, I know some people who are famous” moment recently. Maybe my most profound one. So pardon me while I brag on a friend.
You see, a dear friend, Fiona Locke, has a novel that’s just been published this week. It’s called Over the Knee and it has clearly been written by someone very into our scene for people like me (and you too if you read and like this site). Yes, I know someone who’s written and published a real, on-paper spanking book.
But that wasn’t all. I mean, I’ve met and chatted with a few other spanking authors (Eve Howard and Devlin O’Neill) at Shadow Lane parties and some other BDSM / kink writers like Miranda Austin and Janet Hardy from the newsgroup. In the case of Fiona’s book though, I know the person who took the picture on the book’s cover. I know both the spanker and the spankee in the picture (okay, so it’s Fiona and her partner, but how often do you know of an author posing for the cover image?). And I know (and live with) the person who built her website. Although I contributed nothing to the success of this venture, I still feel so excited about it.
Besides, as great as reading stories online is, isn’t there something especially wonderful about having a book about spanking in your hands?
Though she’s years younger then me, getting to know Fiona on-line was an amazing experience for me and she was more of a role model then I’ve ever given her credit for. At the time we first started emailing each other, I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, trying to get enough courage to step off the edge. She listened to me and then told me where she’d been, where she was now and where she wanted to go. I looked up and realized my friend was already flying. And that if I wanted a chance at finding happiness, the sort of life in the scene I wanted, I was going to have to let go of what already felt safe but wasn’t making me happy.
There’s a lot more to this story of course, but in short I did let go of what was known and safe. What I found may have seemed risky at first (meeting and falling in love with someone 6000 miles away who I only knew from the Internet) but was the right thing in so many ways. I have Fiona to thank for inspiring me with her example and courage. Even more-so when it looked like Paul and my relationship had crashed and I was afraid to face the pain of being alone, especially since for me it meant leaving the scene as I knew it. Fiona talked to me on the phone and advised me not to hide from the pain but to embrace it. Again there’s a lot more to the story, but doing as she advised made me aware of my own strength, with or without Paul. I realized that with or without him spanking was both a desire and a need. And that I was strong enough to survive the loss of him.*
Fiona has always lived bravely. Her book, which deftly combines fact and fiction, is just the latest and best example of that.
(*Okay, so things between Paul and me did go well in the end and we got back together and still are together. But it was still good advice and really did save me.)