O to be in England…

…and a terrorist.  Apparently there have been new orders made by Home Secretary John Reid.  Reports at TheSpoof.com are that

A total of six individuals are now known to have gone missing while under control orders, which impose a loose form of house arrest on those suspected of involvement with international terrorism.

The home Secretary has issued the next level of control punishment for these ne’re do wells who obviously don’t respond to being told to stay indoors. "I have been left no choice but issue a severe spanking order on these up to no gooders" said Mr. Reid.

The public have been asked to keep an eye out for these men as there aren’t enough policemen to do so, but under no circumstances are they to administer the spanking themselves, any flagellation required, will be carried out under strict police supervision.

Well that’s a relief.  I was wondering how British citizens would cope, what with Abel being out of the country and all.

Home arrest and / or flagellation by the police.  Either way, it beats being held for years on a base in Cuba. 

6 thoughts on “O to be in England…

  1. Terri

    NO FAIR!! I sit at home and be good and need a spanking… little did I know I just needed to be grounded and then skip out to get one! Wonder if that would work with my S/O here in America? LOLOLOL!

    Reply
  2. Mija

    Terri: running away from home stories seem to classically end in being fetched home for a spanking. Unless your SO would just be so glad to have you back they forgot?

    Reply
  3. Mija

    It’s “real” in the sense that it was posted on The Spoof’s website. But The Spoof is, well a spoof publication rather like The Onion.
    So it’s not “real” policy in the UK. At least not as far I know. 😉

    Reply
  4. angrylittlegirl

    They DO get to make comments like that over there though. One of my favorite things about England is that people mention spanking in casual conversation and no one bats an eye. Sigh.

    Reply
  5. Chev

    Ahem!
    As an American Citizen I take umbrage at the comment about holding prisoners indefinitely in Cuba.
    We’re not doing that anymore!
    We’re going to hold them indefinitely at other military bases … so there!
    But seriously: would flagellation be of any real use? After all, Muslims practice it in their purification rites.
    I bid for “time-outs” and corner time.

    Reply

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