iPhone: Kinky Apps

I’ve made a more serious post about how Paul and I use technology in our discipline / punishment scenes over on the Punishment Book including our more recent use of the iPhone in conjunction with Apple’s MobileMe. This blog entry is about the more fun and kinky iPhone apps I’ve discovered since Paul gave me one for my birthday this past July –I mention this in case there’s any doubt that Paul keeps me very indulged and spoiled. The screening process Apple uses hasn’t screened them out, at least not so far as I can tell.

ispankThe most obvious of the kink apps is iSpank. No really and for true, it’s there in the iTunes store, in both a free and $.99 version (you get more implements for the money). It’s fun — some of the sound effects are better than others. While the paddle is only okay, the belt or strap always makes me start a little even when I’m holding it. One danger of the app, however, is what I think of as the Wii problem — it encourages the spanker to swing their iPhone around. So make sure you have a tight hold. You then get rated on the strength of your swing. I rarely get more than 5/10, though Paul thinks I don’t need swing so much, that it’s all in the wrist.

But the kinkiest one I’ve found is called either iGrounded or UrGrounded. Its makers market it as a “parenting tool” claiming, “Kids need boundaries. This app helps parents set and enforce consequences.
-urgrounded games-makes grounding easier for parents and kids.” Nothing too kinky there (well, except the idea that punishment’s a game) — but then it goes on to say

igrounded

WE ARE A GENERATION OF WIMPY PARENTS…and we are creating a generation of kids that are lazy,rude, entitled and who show a lack of respect for RULES.

iGrounded is A QUICK POCKET GUIDE FOR PARENTS
When kids break the rules,they need immediate logical consequences.

wheel-of-consequences
iGROUNDED INCLUDES:

  •  UR GROUNDED WHEEL OF CONSEQUENCES GAME..
  •  THE MYSTERY DOORS CONSEQUENCE GAME!

Parents, YOU enter and edit the consequences in both games.

Guide to:

  1. LYING
  2. CURFEW BREAKING
  3. STEALING
  4. NOT CHECKING IN
  5. DRUGS /ALCOHOL
  6. SEXTING
  7. DRIVING ISSUES
  8. ATTITUDE
  9. POOR GRADES and more…

Parents, YOU enter and edit the consequences.

Keep track of who’s grounded in your home.
E -mail your child (and yourself) with the consequence as a friendly reminder.

Excuse me? Let’s just look at that last sentence. Are we talking about Girl’s Boarding School here?  I mean, I don’t have kids, but do most parents really need to have emailed reminders sent to themselves to remember which child has been grounded and for what?  How many teens are living in this “family” anyway?  The offenses also look like something out of video (or story) plot — parent scolding and punishing teen for breaking curfew, or better yet, catching them “sexting.”  Lovely stuff.  The app has scolding prompts to remind parents why lying is bad (seriously).

Keeping with this theme, I do find it odd that “not checking in” appears between “stealing” and “alcohol/drugs.”

Which brings me to the Wheel of Consequences.  As downloaded, the wheel, which spins with a flick of the finger does not have corporal punishments.  Insteadm, they start out with punishments like forced runs, losing game consoles, cleaning the cat box, losing pet (!!!) or having to stay home or in ones room (bliss!), but can be easily edited to fit a more CP turn.    The thing is, I can imagine this “spin and be punished” game being used at a Shadow Lane Party a lot more easily than I can by a parents as a means of deciding how to punish a teenager for a drug offense.

One last gem. The maker claims this app is “Recommended by Pediatricians”  — I’m  imagining a conversation a bit like this:

DOCTOR: Good Lord Sir / Madam!  Your child is clearly an out of control brat  who is both lazy and rude!  You are a wimpy parent!

PARENT: I know doctor, he/she has no respect for the rules. Maybe it’s because I can’t figure out what the logical consequences of their misbehavior should be. For that matter, I can’t even keep track of whether or not my son/daughter is grounded. Whatever can I do?

DOCTOR: I’ve no idea.  Your situation seems hopeless. Unless… I say, you wouldn’t happen to have an iPhone by any chance?

There’s nothing I can see that’s serious about this app, but it might be a great help for spanking story writers or roleplay enthusiasts.  And what could be more fun than that?

6 thoughts on “iPhone: Kinky Apps

  1. bridget

    Ok, Mija, I have to admit something here. I don’t think we are wimpy parents, but we are definitely forgetful parents. If the kids are not supposed to have dessert for a week, or have lost game privileges or owe money out of their allowance we do actually have to write it down or we will forget about it. Oh, and now that we are dealing with two households it seems we constantly are emailing each other to verify things and keep each other on the same page. We do this with their teachers too!
    Maybe this is something that only happens to non biological parents? Does popping the baby out yourself make you better able to keep track of the details? I am not sure, but I have to think there must be some other forgetful parents out there.
    I agree the app sounds way more suitable to kinky grownups, though! I have serious phone envy.

    Reply
  2. Mija

    Hi there Bridget! You make a good point — despite our conversations in the past, I hadn’t considered that this sort of automatic email system might work well for communicating information between parents, especially when they’re not living in the same house.
    That said, I’ve only got my own fucked up family to compare things to. If we’d done something that merited being grounded or doing extra work, it wasn’t forgotten quickly by anyone involved. Maybe that was just because it only happened a few times a year to any one of us. Or they had a secret calendar somewhere… not sure.

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  3. Indy

    OK, Bridget may have a point, but there’s no way the Wheel of Consequences can be anything but kinky. Can you imagine the poor teen having committed a misdemeanor, then having received the worst punishment of the lot, she exclaims, “Dammit, I knew I should have driven under the influence instead!”

    Reply
  4. Ally

    Indy’s right, but I can’t stop laughing. I’m picturing a SimHouse full of teenagers wandering around with parents who – presumably because they’re like me and keep wandering away from the computer and losing track of their specific goals – have no idea whether any given child is in trouble at any given moment.
    Maybe when Jon’s & Kate’s or the Octomom’s (I hate that word but can no longer remember her actual name) 8 become teenagers they will need to have an application that has all the kids names down along with their current status. Anything from “not grounded/grounded” on one of those slidey switches the iPhone has to a selection of any of a half dozen states (I don’t know, allowed to play with XBox? yes/no Grounded? yes/no (and for how long?) Do we approve of this child’s significant other? yes/no Have we actually seen this child in the last three days? yes/no.
    I did actually have a friend who once admitted to smoking pot when she knew her parents were going to drug test her – so they used a more targeted test, I guess to see how much she’d been using. In any case, it turned out that the levels were so low the regular test would never have thrown a positive result, so the lesson she learned was: never cop to anything. I can picture her having concluded that she should have driven under the influence or used a faster-through-your-system (you know, the minor drugs, like cocaine and meth) instead though.
    I also like imagining the presets on the Wheel of Consequences. You land on “stern lecture,” and now the poor parent has to come up with a whole monologue on the spot when s/he could have just sent the kid to his/her room instead. Somehow it seems like most parents would prefer actually choosing their kids’ punishments….
    (though again, I know a guy who once lost the door to his room because he refused to make some phone call he needed to make. How arbitrary is that? It really seems like his parents must have just been rolling dice at that point)
    Conclusion: that application is rife with potential for entertainment and mischief.

    Reply
  5. Mija

    I did consider that — whatever the crime, the penalties remain randomly assigned. Paul has suggested a die for the number of strokes. Perhaps more serious punishments would require multiple spins?
    As in “Sexting again?! That’s five spins for you, young lady!”

    Reply
  6. Mija

    Ally, you do create some wonderful images there.
    I wonder if they’ve had any traffic generated from this site and, if so, what they think of the review…

    Reply

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