Notes on FetLife: I’m Not Really There

fetlifeA while ago, curious after being told by Chris that everyone was there, I started exploring FetLife.  It’s a very cool social networking site for the kinky.  I had a great time, met some cool people and basically enjoyed myself.

Note my use of the past tense.  I still get emails notifying me that people, mostly old friends who are arriving there themselves, have seen my profile and want to connect.  This would be cool, but I’m not really there anymore, not because I don’t like the community but because, for now anyway, I don’t have time. Something had to give and that something was FetLife.

There’s a few reasons for this.  I’ve always had trouble reading there — my eyes don’t like white text on black background — too long gives me a headache.  My main issue though is that it’s just a very kinky site and I no longer have privacy when I’m using my computer at work.  This isn’t a criticism of FetLife.  It should be an adult site with adult connect and explicit images.  But there’s no way I can even go to it and check messages at FetLife while I’m at work.  By contrast, Typepad, Tweety, MacSoup (for usenet) and Newsfire all look pretty generic, whatever their content may be — in fact I’m being paid to blog for my office several hours a week.

But surely, you say, I can use FetLife at home.  This is true, but not happening enough (see comment about the colors and my eyes) that I’m participating. So my question is, should I take my profile down?  Or just mention this there, when I can actually get to the site?

Maybe I’ll ask Chris on Saturday. When we connect by actually talking in person. Such an odd idea, that.

2 thoughts on “Notes on FetLife: I’m Not Really There

  1. sparkle

    You didn’t ask Chris on Saturday.
    I did see where you changed your profile to point out that you’re not really participating. I think that was a good thing to do. 🙂

  2. Abel

    I confess to really liking Fetlife. I have profiles on most of the kinky sites – not so much to meet folks, but more because as a writer, blogger and player I kinda feel I should. It seems to me that these places – IC in the UK, Fetlife internationally, various others – *ought* to be comprehensive in their membership.
    Surprisingly, though, I’ve made a few connections from Fetlife (unlike from any other site of its genre) that have turned into genuine and RL friendships. So I’m a fan – even if I have to try not to spend too much time there as its content is so rich that it could take over all of one’s online time!


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