Life has suddenly become more stressful. In addition to the normal holiday stress, I'm looking for work and worrying about not having any. It's all going to be okay, but while I know it, I don't feel it. It's frustrating feeling like I'm putting myself out there but not hearing anything, yes or no, from anyone.
Today, mostly thanks to a rainstorm keeping us home, I put on my gymslip and knickers and Paul spanked me with his hand and the hairbrush and then caned me. The scene left me sore, but slightly more centered than I'd felt before. Much as I do think being spanked, especially by Paul, generally leaves me feeling better, I don't think it did as much for me today. Instead I think the calm feeling I had after the scene was due to the corner time during it.
When he first sent me to the corner, I didn't think I could stand still and quiet — there was just so much going on in my head. But as I stood there, unable to really see or hear anything, I started focusing on breathing and just being in the moment. There was nothing I could or was supposed to do other than stand and be still. It made being spanked easier. After, I was almost eager to go and stand in it, even knowing when the cornertime was over I was going to be caned.
I know a lot of people find cornertime boring or even objectifying. I can see that. In fact, given my personality, I'm surprised cornertime works at all. But it does. Once I can finally stand still, I start feeling a sort of calm acceptance, a feeling of not being in control, one that leaves me feeling taken care of. It doesn't feel childish or even like a punishment exactly.
Clearly this needs some more thought. What are your thoughts from the corner?