Maid Uniform

maid-uniform
[I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while — months really. It deserves me to say a lot more than I am, but I’ve found it hard to put my thoughts about this down.  This is brief but even writing this has left me feeling ashamed.]

This story begins with online shopping.  I have an old fashioned maid uniform. I bought it off eBay in a burst of desire. The idea of cleaning the apartment dressed in my uniform filled me with anticipation — even though it’s not Paul’s kink at all, I thought it would be fun just for me.  After all, I often pretend to be a housemaid when I’m cleaning and polishing. It’s all fun headspace

My uniform came and was everything I could have hoped for — modest, proper and old fashioned, but sexy in its black and white tradition.  It looks like something a housemaid in the 1950s would wear.

Excited to the core, I put it on, snapped a picture and broadcast it to Twitter.

And then I looked at myself.  What I saw was a Chicana woman dressed as a maid.  I’m from California and that carries with it a lot of baggage. Overwhelmed with feelings of embarrassment, almost a sort of racial memory, I took my uniform off.

It hangs in the closet, speaking to me of things I barely can understand.

I know I shouldn’t feel shame, but I do.  I can’t just embrace the desire and go with it.  Sometimes kink just doesn’t go deep enough.

6 thoughts on “Maid Uniform

  1. Em

    I think you look lovely in it, and I hope that you’re able to wear it again some day, but I understand why you aren’t, too.
    There are definitely some fairly common role-play scenarios that I don’t feel quite comfortable in because they hit a little too close to home.

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  2. Mija

    Thanks Em. I feel self-conscious writing about this because I don’t want to convey that I think anyone *should* have a problem with role-playing a maid or anything else. Fantasy is fantasy, or at least it should be.
    It surprised me how the reality of what I was doing intruded so strongly, even without the added element of anyone topping me. I wish I could write about this more profoundly, but this was all I had, at least for now.
    Glad you thought I looked lovely. 🙂

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  3. bridget

    I also think it looks lovely, and I also totally understand why it hit a nerve. As someone who has worked in the housekeeping department of a hotel with lots of Chicana women, I can say that these things still hold baggage even in Colorado. Still, you’re wonderful and as you well know, your fantasies are just fine. I wish we wore the same size,I’d take that uniform off your hands in a heartbeat!

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  4. Mija

    I would totally give it to you too.
    Thanks for understanding. Part of the reason I feel embarrassed is I *don’t* think I should have so much of a problem with this and it caught me totally unawares. I guess I’d never considered what it meant to be latina pretending to be a maid until I saw myself. Maybe I need something more Victorian? Not sure.
    As it stands, I keep it hanging and wonder if there will be a time when I can get past the baggage. I live it hope.

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  5. Mike

    You look absolutely lovely in uniform.
    My disciplinary wife requires me to run ads on Craigslist from time to time, advertising a Male maid in uniform cleaning service. For free, I knock myself out cleaning a woman’s home, every two weeks, like a cleaning lady (but at no charge, even though I bring all the supplies).
    The uniform came from a hotel supply company and cost all of $19, plus the hose and apron and mary janes I am required to wear. I am not a cross-dresser. My kinks are hand-strapping, writing lines, mouthsoaping and corner time.
    I am required to perform this service (and I make sure the customers know what to expect well before I arrive) to teach me that low income women, often minorities, toil at hard and tedious work for low pay, and that they are valuable.
    My current customer is a single mom in her 40’s who could never afford a regular cleaning lady. She herself works at minimum wage. So every two weeks my uniform comes back from the dry cleaners and I spend four long and sweat-filled hours scrubbing, polishing, mopping, and vacuuming. Last week the focus was the oven, the fridge, and the bathroom walls.
    So for me, in that uniform, you look marvellous.

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