Firsts Friday: Adult Spanking

I got this idea from a conversation with padme on Twitter today.  We were talking about our first adult spankings and telling our stories (as much as one can in 140 characters). It made me decide to tell the story of mine as my blog post tonight and hope that some of you might join in either here or on your own blogs.

My first adult spanking happened in 1997.  Although Paul and I had met online and were talking every day on the phone, we hadn’t met in person yet as he still lived in Scotland while I was living on my university campus in Los Angeles. We’d said we loved each other and wanted to spend time together with Paul talking about coming over to visit me. Neither of us had any experience of spanking as adults (and what I had from childhood wasn’t something I wanted to repeat).  It seems impossible now, but at the time I was afraid I would freak out or flash back to darkness of childhood abuse or in other ways not have a good experience. When I talked about this with a friend, she and I came up with a plan where I would play with an experienced friend when the stakes didn’t feel as fraught as they were with Paul.

I was very fortunate to have just that opportunity. You see, at one point I’d accidently sent email to a friend  (Fireman Chris), from my university rather than my kink email address only to discover that he was a student at the same university.  He’s younger than me but had experience playing with different people and had very kindly (and without any pressure) offered to meet and play with me if I wanted.  With what seems now a ridiculous amount of trepidation we set a date for him to visit me in my dorm room. The plan was that he’d spank me and then we’d go out to dinner.

This is exactly what happened.  The first time wasn’t long and it wasn’t hard.  It was a gentle but firm handspanking and a perfect introduction to adult consensual spanking.  It left me dizzy with desire to do it again, something I told him with some embarrassment afterwards over dinner. Chris spanked me many times after that over the next couple of years (and a few times more recently too!) sometimes in my dorm room, sometimes in the backseat of his truck. I even got to spank him too. But I’ve always been incredibly grateful I got such a perfect patient introduction to adult spanking.  Thank you Chris!

Chris told his story here.  Zille told hers here.

15 thoughts on “Firsts Friday: Adult Spanking

  1. Fireman Chris

    As I’ve said before, you are quite welcome my dear. We’ve had much fun over the years, though those early spankings are some of my fondest memories. It was an honor to give you your first grownup spanking, and I very much enjoyed getting to help you experiment with various different scenes, implements and such. And, I enjoyed baring my bottom for you so that you could explore the other side as well.

  2. Mija

    Clearly this is fast becoming a thank you and you’re welcome fest. 🙂 But you know, I’m sure you told me about it once upon a time, but I’d love to hear about your adult first — giving or receiving. ::hugs::

  3. padmeamidala

    Thank you for sharing your first adult spanking. I had no idea that Fireman Chris was the one who gave you your first spanking. I had no idea!
    Great to see you blogging a lot, mija. I always enjoy your posts.

  4. Jan

    I had been on the newsgroup for several months when another newsgroup poster and I decided to meet so she could give me my first adult spanking. One night on irc, a bunch of people I knew from the newsgroup were chatting, and because they knew I was going to play soon, they all told their first times. It was like an online pajama party. Perhaps some of them will show up here, too.
    I met up with the woman I was going to play with when she was on a business trip in a state I don’t live in. I am pretty sure that we arranged to meet for 2 nights, but some of those details are hazy. Others are crystal clear. We had dinner first and then went back to her hotel room. Although I wanted to play, I was nervous about it and was stalling, and she didn’t want to be pushy. We were on her laptop, on some chat program, and a mutual friend nudged us to get on with it. So we did.
    She turned on the radio or tv to make some background noise, and then she sat with her back against the headboard. She invited me to get over her lap. She rubbed my back a little. She gave me what was really a very mild handspanking, more like a warm-up. I liked it. Part of me thought “that’s it?” because I wanted more and I wanted it harder. Afterward, we cuddled, and I remember my head on her chest as I listened to her heart. With the window open, we could hear the rain falling. We shared the king sized bed, but it was just a question of practicality, not lust.
    The second night, we met back at her hotel room, and she used a small wooden paddle lightly. As she was spanking me, I felt tears running down my face. “Are you crying?” she asked, somewhat incredulously. I can see her point, I mean, she really wasn’t hitting me very hard at all. What I couldn’t articulate was that the tears were a response to finally finding another spanko in the real world, someone who *understood* what I wanted and needed and didn’t think I was weird. Before I met her, as far as I knew, I’d never been face to face with another spanko.
    So my first was really very sweet. It confirmed for me (as if there were any doubt) that I was a spanko. It also went a distance in confirming my attraction to women, though it took me longer to admit that. But being a spanko caused me to totally rethink sexuality in ways I could not imagine back then.

  5. Judy

    Mija, thank you so much for sharing this. As someone who is scheduled to experience a spanking from Mr. Fireman Chris in less than 24 hours, I take comfort in your description of your first adult spanking, from him, as gentle but firm.
    As for me, I won’t count the non-consensual 16th-birthday spanking I received, otk, from my best friend’s older sister’s boyfriend. That particular event had me flying for years.
    My first real adult spanking was 20 years ago with a man with whom I worked. (Always a good idea, eh?) I was 29; emotionally, a young 29, and I was absolutely nuts about him. He and I had been flirting for a few years and, when we finally started dating, one casual joke about a spanking drew a reaction, and we had that wonderful moment we realized the other was into this thing. This was pre-Internet and it was total dumb luck that we found each other in a vanilla world. I of course saw this connection as evidence that we were meant to be together. I mean, it was obviously fate, right?
    In all honesty, I have no recollection of the first time he actually spanked me; just that it became a regular part of our time together. We had no idea what we were doing and went purely on instinct, mixed with desire. Warm-up – what was that? We had no clue. He used his hand; a little wood paddle – the kind that had a rubble ball attached to it by a string but the ball and string were removed; and a belt (very, very lightly). I was otk, over the arm of the couch, or face down on his bed. For him, it was simply foreplay, a means to lead to sex. For me, it was better than the sex. I remember wanting more spanking after he had, ahem, finished. Wasn’t gonna happen. I guess it shouldn’t have been a huge surprise when he announced, after about a year, that he’d “met someone else and it just felt different.” It turned out the person he met was also another coworker of ours(!) and was the polar opposite of me. I knew nothing of the term “vanilla,” but she was definitely it and, by choice, so then was he. I was crushed as only the young and romantic can be crushed. My following relationship was a disaster and, eventually, I came to the conclusion that I would spend the rest of my life alone.
    Looking back, I learned a few things about myself: 1) I liked the idea of being spanked – more than I could say; 2) I don’t particularly care for wood implements; 3) I bruise very easily; and 4) spankings hurt, which I thought meant there was a flaw in my kink. I mean, if I’m into it, how could I not want it to hurt? So much to learn.
    This was back in the days of horror stories of people being caught with embarrassing things on their computers and there was no way that was going to happen to me. The fact that my former love knew my secret and subsequently rejected me was evidence enough that my desire to be spanked was something I needed to take to my grave. What a difference an iPhone, and the illusion of privacy, has made? It took almost 20 years, but I finally plucked up the courage to reach out to the kinky community and couldn’t be happier I did.
    Now, I don’t much care who finds what on my computer.

  6. Mija

    Thanks so much padme. 🙂 I’m glad to be able to tell you something new. As to the blogging, so far I’ve been able to keep to blogging every day this month. We’ll see how it goes. Glad to know you’re reading.

  7. Mija

    Thanks for telling your story Jan. The idea of it causing a rethinking of your entire sexuality is a powerful one. And yes, it is very sweet. 🙂

  8. Mija

    That’s a bittersweet story — sweet and romantic, but sad it the relationships after effects. I’m glad you ventured out again.
    And have a great time with Chris.

  9. Indy

    This is such a terrific conversation about first spankings! I’ve already blogged about my first spanking, so I won’t repeat the story here. Like Jan’s, Chris’s, or Mija’s stories, it’s fairly sweet and innocent.
    Like Judy, I became aware that people had spanking fantasies when I was young– and very naive. I was in my first real relationship with a guy. I think I knew even than that, as much as I liked him– and the idea of having a boyfriend– we were ill-suited for one another. Anyway, my dad, bless him, had sent me a sex-positive feminist books about sexuality. One of them talked about spanking fantasies in the same chapter as rape fantasies. I remember feeling utterly relieved to know that others shared those fantasies. But not as relieved as I was to “learn” that they didn’t mean I’d actually like to be spanked. When I re-read that passage recently, it didn’t seem as dismissive of those fantasies as I’d thought, but it certainly didn’t address the possibility that some women might actually need sadomasochistic play for a fulfilling sex life. That “reassurance,” at least as I interpreted it at the time, led me to put aside any real contemplation my spanking fantasies for almost two decades. I suspect I just wasn’t ready at the time, but I can’t help wondering what might have happened had I realized that others shared my interest– not just in fantasy, but also in real life.
    The other book was by Susie Bright, and it had a section of pushing one’s limits with respect to sexual play. One of the examples she gave was of a young woman who wasn’t ready to be whipped herself. Still, she wanted to capture the experience in some way, so she lay underneath another woman as she was being whipped. Perhaps I should have noticed at the time that this was the hottest thing I’d ever read in my life?!

  10. Em

    I’ve loved reading everyone’s stories here, what a great topic. As I’ve already chronicled my first spanking, I won’t rehash it here, but thank you all for sharing.


    I am thinking strongly about getting my first adult spanking soon . The person I have talked to online has a good bit of experience.


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