Category Archives: weblogs

Boneheaded OR Where is The Punishment Book?

Some of you may be wondering what's happened to The Punishment Book and why all the old links are directing to a porn site.  There's an answer.  I made a dumb mistake and lost the domain. 

How did I do this, you ask?

Last year I decided to move my domains from GoDaddy to another host registration because, well, there are a lot of reasons to leave GoDaddy.  Among the domains I moved was The Punishment Book (which I've had since 2005 — a long time in the world of blogs).  However, it seems somehow I only moved one of the PB domains (we had the .org and .net both) and the one I moved isn't the .org one, which was the one that was mapped.  

Following so far?

Since I generally register the blogs for two years when I do them, I wasn't even thinking about it expiring this year.  But expire it did, in January, as I found out today.  In addition, the PB has been sadly neglected of late.  But Dykegirl emailed the PB authors yesterday to ask what had happened to the site.  I went and discovered the crappy porn redirect I mentioned above.  When I went to check on the domain, I discovered it had a new owner. 

A number of emails and phone calls later and what's become clear is that in January, the day the domain expired, someone else bought it.  They then kept the old domain mapping active until far after the 45 day grace period during which time I could have reclaimed the domain.  Sure they'll sell it back to me for a price — too high a price for a site that doesn't exist to make any sort of money — or s/he gets our old traffic.  I hope they choke on it.

Right now I'm working to move the content, which fortunately hasn't been lost, to the domain  The site will be there by the end of the week  is up now.  Some great people out there have already volunteered to help by changing the links on their sites and I'll be busy doing my part to make the change known.

To everyone whose ever written a single comment on or about the PB and most of all to the other PB authors, both current and former, I'm sorry this happened. I'll make up for it the only way I know how, by writing more and encouraging others to write.     

Dreams of Spanking: Advent Blog Day 23

Today is an exciting day in the spanking scene and I just have to post something here to celebrate. The witty and wonderful Pandora Blake has officially launched her new website, Dreams of Spanking, complete with stills and video from some of my very favorite performers.

There’s a lot about the site that I like, especially Pandora’s vision and the trouble she’s taken over settings and costumes.  The quality reflects the love and care she’s given them.

But even more than that, I like the whole concept of the site. Beginning with the site name, Dreams of Spanking affirms that whether topping or bottoming, this isn’t something that’s being done to her, but rather that she’s an active participant in an activity that’s a huge part of her sexuality and fantasy life. There’s a specificity it all that defies this pornography being able men looking at women (so it doesn’t matter what the men look like) and instead is about a female gaze as well.

This pleases me a lot, as does the attention that’s given in the stills I’ve seen to the performers’ faces.  Yes, this is about kink and their bodies, but it’s also about kink and their minds and their relationships with and desires for each other.

Wonderful.  Congratulations on realizing your dreams Pandora.  And thank you for an amazing Christmas gift.


The Simple Woman’s Daybook: Advent Blog Day 22

I’ve rarely been called simple anything but I have a yearning for more simplicity in my life, the ability to be mindful and focus on what I’m doing at any given moment. Today when I was reading at H.D. Silversmith’s blog and saw an entry to The Simple Woman’s Daybook and decided to use the writing prompts too. I’m not sure how the original author will feel about a kink blog linking to her, but we’ll see.


Outside my window all is dark and chilly.

I am thinking about my small neice and how fun it is to see her laugh.

I am thankful for my family, that I’ll be teaching next semester, and for the medications that keep me sane-ish.

In the kitchen all is quiet. I wish there were cookies, but we’re leaving town soon.

I am wearing jeans, a tee-shirt and turquiose Vans.

I am creating this blog post and basking in the glow of the Christmas tree.

I am going to Portland on Saturday.

I am wondering how much work it will be to move this blog and The Punishment Book to WordPress from TypePad.

I am reading Here Come Everybody.

I am hoping against hope that I end up with an interview for MLA. But I’m also at peace with the idea of going to the conference without one.

I am looking forward to giving myself over to Christmas.

I am hearing the heater and my fingers on the keys. It’s all pretty quiet.

Around the house there’s dust and clutter and Christmas lights.

I am pondering how many books to bring with me to Portland.

One of my favorite things is watching Doctor Who.

A few plans for the rest of the week: packing and flying to Portland. Enjoying time with my family.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing…



Amazing Blogging: Advent Blog Day 17

Several things happened today. First, Paul and I got gifts shipped off to family we won't see at Christmas (stuff heading to Ohio and England).  We had great karma with parking appearing as we needed it and stores not being too crowded. I'm especially proud of our gift for our eight year old, science geek nephew.  We got him the Grow Your Own Bacteria kit from ThinkGeek.  I'm not sure it can compete with the owl puke of last year, but I did my best.

I also set up our small Christmas tree.  We didn't get a cut tree this year as we're going to be in Oregon at Christmas, but it felt good to get the small one, which used to be my grandmother's, decorated. Paul played our holiday music for this year and by the time we finished, I felt very much in the mood to celebrate. 

The best treat of the day was surfing over and reading Kaelah's recent (well for the last month, I've fallen behind) posts.  They're thoughtful and thought provoking, all of them raising thoughts and ideas that make me want to write.  Sadly I must go to bed, but I highly recommend reading the following:

Subject: Humiliation

Do You Want Kids With That

Spanking Porn: On Compartmentalization

Hopefully I'll be able to return to these topics in the next few days — I really want to do some reflection so I can do them justice either here or in their comments section.  Meanwhile, do read them. 

Such a Manic Sunday: Advent Blog Day 11

This was not a quiet day. I'm not sure how it ended up being so busy, except that my dad was home all day and we seemed to move from task to task.  Still, it was a good day in that I feel I got a fair few things done.  

The most impressive of these is that I changed the lock on the front door. It needed to be done because my purse (which had my keys and our address in it) has not yet been returned. It's a little scary to think of someone we don't know having keys to our door. So I went to the hardware store and bought a lock that looked a lot like the one that was already on it. I did think of maybe calling a locksmith to have the place re-keyed, but then considered that having them come out would cost more than doing it myself, plus, worst case, I'd have to have a locksmith come out and do the install.  Might as well give it a go.  Anyway, Casey was sure I could do it.  It also gave me an excuse to use my Hitachi (power drill), something I find very exciting.

It was all much easier than I expected and took, total, less than 15 minutes. I made my dad and Paul come and admire it and preened about it on Twitter. Clearly, from this post, you may have gleened I'm still proud. 

I spent most of the rest of the day working on materials for the course I'm teaching next semester. Sadly the book I most want to teach, This Bridge Called My Back, is out of print. Happily, a couple hours worth of work and I've found all but two chapters on the web as PDFs.  It's not as good at them having the actual book, but at least the students will be able to read it. Also in preparation for teaching, Paul did heroic work and divided up my academic domain so I can have mutiple WordPress blogs on it, which means I can construct a website / blog for the course. So I spent the second half of the day working on that. I swear the hardest part (for me) about using word press is figuring out what theme to use and then how to make it do what I want.  I'm not good with too many choices.

Purse-aftermath-update (no, it's not over)

Okay so now I've changed the lock and have begun to replace credit cards and the like. I'm still hoping it comes back in the next week or I'll have to go in and get a new driver's licence (ugh!).  I've also talked with my therapist about how to be more mindful when I'm stressed out — basically I need to be aware that when I'm stressed my ability to do things on auto-pilot is diminished. Paul's been really wonderful about not making me feel bad for being careless, but we talked about it a bit during our scene yesterday. Today we talked about it a bit more and he's offered to / said he's going to be aware of me being aware. 

That's not as good as having my purse back, but it's a help. 

Brown or Black? Advent Blog Day 5


I’ve spent the recent part of the evening considering the rather daunting task migrating this blog and the Punishment Book from our current location on TypePad to WordPress hosting on the LaughingSquid servers before fees are due this summer. Both blogs have been on TypePad since they started in 2004 and 2005 and both have hundreds of posts and images so this wouldn’t be a small thing to do, but might make sense for a number of reasons.  It might be a good reason for me to learn some CSS, among other things.

But that’s not what I’m blogging about tonight.  This blog topic was inspired by fellow Advent Blogger padme’s hot post on belt spankings which, if you haven’t read, you should go and read right now.

Belts have power for me too, also for reasons that are partly connected to childhood, partly due to it being an item worn on the body for a useful purpose. The sound of a belt clicking and being taken off is enough to set my heart pounding, whatever the reason.

But when I look at belts, the ones I fetishize are brown leather, the sort one would use to hold up jeans much moreso than the slim leather ones used on a suit. I know from Twitter that Em feels exactly the opposite, she’s all about the suits.  What about you? Brown or black?  Or does it matter?

Advent Blog 2011: Day 1

December 2011 promises to be a crazy kind of Holiday season, but I want to try doing el tercer ojo as an Advent Blog again this year, with a post of some sort (even if it’s just to tell you I like egg nog) every day.

This year, using Twitter – using #adventblog – I’m opening it up as an idea others can participate in, maybe to encourage and inspire.  With that in mind, I’ve banged together a little logo using someone else’s calendar template (hope they don’t mind). Feel free to use it or make your own. 🙂

If you do decide to play along there are no rules, no topics and no guilt for missing a day (I may struggle sometimes myself).  But do let me know either here or on Twitter.  I want to put a list of everyone Advent Blogging on my posts.  You’re welcome to do the same or not, whatever seems the most fun.

Don’t feel you have to blog about any specific topic.  My own will be about whatever is on my mind for the day, be it holiday related, kink related or some political topic I can’t leave alone.  My only suggestion is that you use this style “My Blog Title: Day X” so there’s a countdown to the 25th.

And there you have it — Advent Blog.  Will you join me?


Advent bloggers so far:

padme & Anakin – Journey to the Darkside

Marie – Life, Lemons & Spanking

EmmaEnchanted – This Kinky Life

Quai  –  Spanking Discussion

Poppy St. Vincent – Poppy’s Submissions

Sharon – The Evolution of a Pin-Up Model

Tiger – Innermost Me

For Lurking Out Loud!

As you probably already know, given the virtual hum out there, today is the day Bonnie has organized for Love Our Lurkers Day — a way of appreciating the readers of spanking blogs and giving you, the reader a hearty invitation to comment and participate.

I’m always moved by comments to my blog (well, except for the spam ones). I do read all of them and genuinely take your thoughts to heart.  It’s one reason (aside from my general flakiness) that can sometimes take a while to respond. It still amazes me that the random thoughts in my head can generate response from others.

Anyway, welcome.

Oh and so you have something to write about, what’s your favorite song right now or of all time?  Mine is “Birdhouse in Your Soul” by They Might Be Giants.  Tell us and this way I can make an el tercer ojo Lurker Playlist.  Besides, as Paul (who is too cool to be interested in his lurkers so don’t pay attention to him) is always telling me, my musical tastes are way too stuck in the 1980s. I’d love to have some cool new tunes to listen to.

PS. Did I say welcome? To friends old and new, I’m so happy to see you here.

Happy Halloween & the Best Laid Schemes


But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

Happy Halloween everyone! I’m writing this in preparation for going out in search of a pumpkin to carve. (Oh wait, that’ll have to be tonight — forgot to get money from Paul.)

So, if you were following my plan to blog daily this month, maybe you’re wondering what happened.  It wasn’t just having my post eaten (though God knows that’s discouraging) — the past week has been sort of rough. As my (new) therapist remarked last Friday, I’ve been anxious and depressed for the past few weeks (her saying this prompted me to burst into tears – doh!).  In addition to all the usual stress plus the added mess that is the academic job market, I’m in the middle of changing one of my medications.  Lexapro wasn’t doing much and is muy expensive — I’m now on Zoloft — much cheaper though it’s too soon to know if it’ll be any better. Oh, and I had a touch of a cold. It all came to a head this weekend and all I wanted to do was sleep.

I didn’t just sleep. I went to a calligraphy playdate on Saturday — bringing with me Pan de Muerto (mmm)  which I bought at the lovely La Monarca Bakery rather than making it myself.  It was well received. I thought I was doing okay, but after a couple hours all the other women started asking me if something was wrong — apparently I was being too quiet compared to my usual self.  I told them I was just feeling thoughtful, but realizing that others could notice how I was feeling shook me and took some of the pleasure out of the day. But my italic lettering is getting better and I was glad I went and got to practice. I’ll post some samples soon. We’re just starting capital letters.

Yesterday I worked on revising one of the chapters of my dissertation to turn it into a writing sample.  It had to go from over 100 pages down to just 20.  This took a while and was painful, while also tipping my anxiety (everything about the job market does that). I haven’t looked at it yet this morning but Paul, in addition to caning me for being one gym visit short for the week, bought me a Magnum ice cream bar to be a reward when the cutting was finally done.  That and a good night’s sleep and this morning I feel better. Thank goodness.

So the experiment with daily blogging wasn’t a total bust, but not a complete success either. I do like writing daily, but I suspect if I do it again it’ll end up being more of a mood chart than a series of essays on kinky thoughts.

Networking Meets Spanking

Today is a short blog entry as I’m killer tired from spending the day at a giant (80 people!!) birthday party for my only just two-year-old niece. I almost didn’t write anything despite my pledge to write daily this month but I wanted to share something.

I finally did something I’ve been meaning to do for far too long; I joined The Spanking Bloggers Network. It’s a wonderful community of bloggers who write about, yes you guessed it, spanking.  There’s lot’s of members (more than one hundred) so I can hardly be accused of being an early adopter. I had considered doing it a while ago, but as this blog is frequently about topics other than spanking, I wasn’t sure I really belonged. Then when I was convinced I did, I put it off and, well we know how that goes. But today it’s done and this blog and The Punishment Book are sporting the network’s nifty chalkboard button.

I confess, my schoolgirl heart dearly loves the way it looks.  Coincidence?  My lovely friend Zille joined just before me. 🙂

    =0=0=0=     =0=0=0=    =0=0=0=

Also, my parents are currently staying with Paul and me.  A few hours ago they went out and, feeling tired and unsettled I asked for a spanking.  It was a hard, over the knee hand spanking and left me whimpering from the sting. After I felt better, both because I’d been spanked and, I think, because it felt like we were claiming the house as ours.

But mostly I’m recording this because I asked for a spanking and I admitted I needed it. That doesn’t happen very often.